Sex & Religion: Not Mutually Exclusive

Gabrielle Davina, Sex Columnist

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Of the negative reactions that expressing sexuality through this column brings, a common one is the insinuation that I need more religion in my life. The assumption is that I must not have been raised right, or not (as one person said) “accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.”

This guy obviously forgot that Jesus had a particular affection for Mary Magdalene.

I was raised Roman Catholic by my Italian father and a mother who grew up in a Polish convent. Although I no longer identify myself as Catholic, I also have a background in Unitarian Universalism (UU). UU is a non-creedal religion based on the promotion of social justice.

When many of those who slam me for this column find out I believe in God, they get quieter. When they find out I pray nearly every day, they often shut up.

If you express your religion louder than I do, by all means, God bless. Live your life; I’m all for it and you should do what makes you feel good. When you attack me on the basis of religion, however, you’re forgetting the verses in the Bible that condemn judging others.

Matthew 7:1-5 says, “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

Well done, Matthew. We should be buds. (Shout out to the atheists, agnostics and other religions out there, still read the above verse. You’ll still like it.)

Sex and religion are not necessarily mutually exclusive. One can be both a sexual person and a religious person. If I believe in God, I want to celebrate all His glory—that includes sex. To incorporate the two, one needs to be respectful of their partners and themselves. That means being safe, not being a selfish lover and being cognizant of the emotional and physical implications that sex might entail.

That also means looking your partner in the eye in the morning. And anytime you see them thereafter. Each person needs to be treated with dignity and respect on their search for meaning in life, and people go about that search in different ways.

For the people that say I need more religion, I say you need more tolerance.

For those of you who practice what you preach, I salute you. Maybe you don’t agree with a lifestyle that includes premarital sex and therefore abstain from it. I dig that. However, much of the judgment comes from guys of a different camp—the pro-double-standard, I-like-to-bone-but-women-should-not camp.

The problem with guys who fling mud at women who express their sexuality is that they still unzip their pants at every opportunity. They treat women like Mary Magdalene but want to wed the Virgin Mary. The truth is that it takes two to tango, and if you’re having pre-marital sex, you have no right to throw God in another’s face for making the same choice. Disrespecting others is far from biblical.

Funny enough, a Letter to the Editor I received that didn’t throw Jesus in my face was one from Sister Susan Becker (who, by the way, has super relaxing meditation sessions at 3:30 every Thursday in Conference Room C/D. Definitely worth checking out). For those of you who don’t know her, she’s a super cool nun and our school chaplain. Religion is literally her life’s work—if she didn’t use God against me, I find it fairly ludicrous for my fellow sinful college students to.

So before you sling mud in the name of God, look at your own actions. I respect your faith and beliefs—respect mine, too. Maybe you really do need that meditation sesh to ready yourself for some reevaluation. I’m not perfect and neither are you, so who has the right to judge?

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