I’m what you’d call a slut sympathizer.
What that means is, although I’m not necessarily a slut (shocking for those of you who only know me through this column), I respect women and men shoved into this category the same as I respect the monogamists of the world.
Before going any further I have to specify that when I say “slut” I mean it with absolutely no negative connotation. I do not use it as an insult because I don’t think that the action it assumes of someone (having a sexual relationship with more than one person) is a capital sin.
A girl came up to me at a party one day and said, “Thank you for being so nice to me because so many people here aren’t.”
She’s a very sweet girl, just your typical college student, and although I was sad to hear that people treat her poorly, I knew exactly what I’d heard about her – that she was a “slut.”
This was said by another girl, of course.
But what did she, or anyone, do to be disrespected and insulted? Today, you can do just about anything and get called a slut. Make out with more than one person at a townhouse party? Slut. Wear a low-cut shirt? Slut. Get hit on by someone that’s supposedly seeing someone else? Slut.
What’s with all the girl-on-girl hate here? Whenever I hear someone referring to another girl as a slut, whore, slore or what have you, I challenge it – asking, “What’s wrong with what she has done compared to what you yourself did in your first year of college?”
Ask the people around you if they’ve ever had a phase of questionable behavior in college and many will say yes. Then ask them why they hate on the promiscuity of others and they say, “Even in my slutty phase, I never did [X, Y or Z].
What makes someone else wearing X, doing Y or talking about Z worse than you doing the same thing?
One of my issues with verbally attacking others based on their sexual actions, commonly known as slut shaming, is the hypocrisy of it all. People make excuses for their own actions while crucifying others for doing the same. One girl will call another slutty for kissing strangers at a party, and then the accuser will spend her mornings waking up in bed with strangers. Guys will shame a girl for sleeping with five people and then go sleep with fifteen people themselves.
Also, what bearing does someone else’s sex life have on yours? Why would how someone spends his or her evenings matter to you if you’re not the one sleeping with them? That’s their life. If you want others to leave you alone to make your own decisions, give others the same respect and opportunity.
Unless you’re a fly on their bedroom wall, you have no idea what actually happens when the doors are closed. You can accuse and assume someone of slutting around all you want and regardless of whether it’s true, you’re an adult. I hope you have more important things to worry about.
Sleeping around does not make you worth more than others, but it also doesn’t make you worth less. Human beings all have the same inherent value. Before you badmouth someone based on their promiscuity, let go of your holier-than-thou attitude for a moment and realize that saying slanderous and disrespectful things of others does not make you any better of a person.