What Your Fall Semester Schedule Says About You

Molly Feldman, Contributing Writer

August 25, 2024

More than six classes, all four credits, every day of the week: What is wrong with you, Julia? Chill out. You won’t lose your perfect GPA if you relax for five minutes. No, you don’t need more highlighters. Breathe, Julia, breathe!
Three classes one day a week, two on two days a week: You’re a regular person. An average Joe Schmoe, nothing special. Move along. Go to class, it’s 9 AM. Or it’s 12PM who knows.
Only classes in your major: You’re either graduating or you’re super into procrastinating right now. Math? No thanks. You’ll be waiting until the last minute to start learning how to graph those algebraic equations you’ll need for your architecture career.
All core classes you missed as an underclassman: Hey, it’s okay. We all struggle with time management now and then. At least you made it to your senior year, Aiden. You’re just going to have to sit through five hours of science class for four more months and then we’ll give you a diploma.
Only classes in Miller Hall: You peaked in high school. You like that Miller resembles your high school. You’re on the football team too, aren’t you? Which one of the hundreds of guys are you? The tall one? That doesn’t help, Jeremy.
Only classes in Willcox Hall: You’re really into music. I bet you’re listening to music right now. Is that Wallows on your playlist? Oh, you’re seeing them live? Next week? Of course you are.
Only classes in Elm Hall: You live in Elm and have an off-campus job. You insist it’s easier this way. You will cry tonight because it’s not.
Only classes in Lienhard Hall: Look at you, you’re going to be a nurse. Good for you. Don’t get your white sneakers dirty. There’s a HUGE puddle outside by the commuter lot. Don’t step in it.
Only classes in Dyson Hall: You’re smart.
Only online classes: You’re a 40-something mother of four. You thought this would be easy. Now you can’t figure out why your 27-year-old professor sent you a link to a Google Drive folder. Is that the textbook, Nancy? Did they send you the textbook?

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