With this being the last issue for the school year, this may be the last article I write for this column. So for a loss of better words, let’s go balls to the wall. And I might as well do this “balls to the wall” approach on a topic that this community lives for every year and will be experiencing again on this upcoming Saturday; Townhouse Day.

Tanked, trashed, housed, blitzed, hammered, totaled, smashed, sh*thoused, drunk. Townhouse Day is, as I’ve heard so many people say, the one day where Pace seems like a “real college”. Without the kind of “fests” that turn a normal school into a notorious party school, and with the large amount of students here on this campus that still do their best to kill their brain cells on a weekly basis, Pace has many people who spend their entire spring semester waiting on this day to come.

Let’s be honest with ourselves, shall we? For those of us who go out to Paulie’s Bar and make bad decisions on a weekly basis, Townhouse Day is a day where we are willing to lose any dignity that we have left. For everyone who holds themselves at a slightly higher standard than that, Townhouse Day will allow them the opportunity to create their own highlights in their college career that will involve lots of alcohol, possible drug use and large school-funded inflatable toys.

Along with all of these things comes the concept of over 1,000 drunken idiots, running around surrounded by available bedrooms. That’s begging for mistakes to be made with people you wouldn’t have ever meant to wake up next to. Seeing people of the opposite sex being half naked while you’re too drunk to know if you’re wearing shoes is enough to make many people lose some of their inhibitions.

I would absolutely love to go on about a nice Public Service Announcement and tell everyone that they should be cautious as to who they get involved with and be wary of who you hook up with; but I’m not going to do that. Why? Because it’s Townhouse Day! That’s the one day of the year at this school where every Pace student, and all the random people that they bring along, is obligated (yes, I said obligated) to go as hard as they possibly can in order to become as inebriated as humanly possible.

What I will tell everyone is just a few pointers. First thing is to know your limits; then push them. Nobody will judge you on Townhouse Day if you throw up, and if you pass out at noon and miss the rest of the day the only person that will hate you, is you. Next up, be safe. I don’t mean be safe on your liver because I already know that I won’t be, but if you think you might end up making some of the same mistakes as so many other people in having sex with a random person, stock up on condoms. Nobody wants to see a toddler running around campus this time next year. Lastly, and most importantly, find a place to sleep. Nobody wants another person crashing into a tree next to Townhouse 12 or hitting a girl with their car in front of North.

I hope everyone enjoys this day as much as I have in the past, and as much as I will on this coming one. Make bad decisions, everyone. At the very least, it’ll be worth a story. #THDay2013