They walked down a dark alley with unlaced Timberlands, North Faces only showing their eyes and the signature plié bounce as they sang songs of their undying love for a woman. The clashing worlds of sensitivity and gritty was unheard of but a concept that would unknowingly break the social norms, and closets of men everywhere. Once they realized they did not have to don the double-breasted suit, complemented with candle light and a bath tub filled with bubbles to express their love for their lady, it changed a generation of men. It changed what women wanted because from now on we all want, to our own fault, a sensitive thug and that is all thanks to Jodeci.

“Forever my lady” was shocking to Black America. Before Devante Swing, JoJo, K-Ci and Mr. Dalvin took the R&B scene by storm in the early 1990’s, male R&B singers were extremely soft in exterior and interior. Singing songs professing their love of women always had to be done in a tailored suit, soft lighting and with a permed scalp. For the ladies that loved a man with edge, these men were the anti-thesis to all things ‘thug.’ Until four boys from Hampton, Virginia came and took over the scene in a way that changed how we perceive men in the R&B industry for life.

Wardrobe was a major piece in the puzzle of building a group of men that would shock the industry and make a name for themselves. Regardless of how talented Devante was in his musical stylings, the group needed to be unique in every way imaginable so that the group stood out amongst a pool of candy R&B groups. Rarely did you ever see Jodeci in music videos or television appearances look anything less than an R&B Wu-Tang Clan; knit skully hats matched with a pair of half-on two sizes too large overalls, combat boots and an oversized Tommy Hilfiger wind-breaker. That was the style that popularized and individualized Jodeci, but they had no idea they were blending two worlds. These southern gospel choir boys were now known as the bad boys of R&B, revolutionizing the identity of a genre that was made to appease mothers in an era where hip-hop had scared and disconnected generations of people who did not want to understand this loud, secular music. Jodeci collaborated frequently with the genre they emulated, offering their vocals and writing to films such as Above the Rim and collaborating with Gangstarr. Jodeci made it cool to collaborate with hip-hop artists, a concept that is run of the mill nowadays

It was possible to sing about love and women and not look like you cry in the dark with ice cream in silk boxers. Jodeci realized that, and did not have be a woman to relate to women, and that R&B did not mean you have to emasculate yourself in order for women to like you.

Now the R&B genre is not the same, and after Jodeci’s debut even female groups like Xscape, TLC and SWV all dressed like miniature Jodeci’s. Women latched on to the trend of ditching traditional images of what a woman is meant to look like in R&B and became sexy androgynous archetypes of style.

Now R&B is poor in quality and aesthetic appeal. Nothing is like it once was in terms of originality and not only do all R&B men look the same, but they are not nearly as talented as they once were. The music industry is a hard world to separate yourself from but in the 90s it seemed individuality was an easy goal to attain. Masculinity and thug appeal has returned to the hip-hop industry and R&B is in somewhat of an identity crisis. The group that raised a generation is having difficulty coming into its own, and the members are in an even deeper life crisis themselves. I miss the days of passion and originality in music and if we can return to those days maybe a Forever My Lady 2.0 will be on the horizon.

Here’s hoping.