They had the best working relationship on television, but the public couldn’t understand why nothing more than solved crimes came of it.
Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler were a match made in heaven. Olivia was more maternal, and brought a sensitive side to Elliot’s rough exterior. He was unapologetic in how he handled his criminals and left the tender, love and care to Olivia for the victims. Every once in a while we would see Elliot’s softer side when his children were involved, but the aggression always trumped the minimal glimpse that we would get. They balanced each other out but didn’t outshine one another. When Olivia was almost raped in the women’s jail she was doing undercover work in, Stabler stopped at nothing to help find the man.
When Olivia’s mother was found dead in her home, Stabler did all he called to make sure she was mentally able to continue on. They supported each other both mentally and professionally similar to the way a marriage operates. They had their disagreements but it never got disrespectful, maybe that is why I, and many others, wonder how the writers never thought to bring them together romantically.
We thought our first clue to this happening was when Elliot and his wife separated, but Olivia was still dating and looking for “the one.” There were never any snide, jealous comments that Elliot would make when she would go on these dates, which only supported the fact that they were strictly platonic – nothing more. But when Olivia’s relationships never worked out, the hope for a Stabler and Benson romance would resurface. However, the writers and the actors that played our favorite detectives on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit confirmed that not only were Benson and Stabler friends, but that there will never be a romance.
Their reasoning made sense. Constantly in society we are convinced that it is nearly impossible for both a man and woman to be friends. There always has to be some kind of romance between them or at the very least chemistry. The only time relationships between a man and woman are possible on television or in movies is if the man or woman is gay. Thus spawning the obsession with having a gay friend and the belief that men are inherently unable to have a friendship with a woman without eventually wanting to have sex with her. I would like to give men and women a lot more credit than Hollywood has lent both genders – we are able to have platonic friendships and our sexual preference or martial status should define the boundaries of it.
There was no sexual chemistry between Olivia and Elliot because they were professionals and never let it get beyond the confines of their job. When the person you are friends with respects those boundaries the lines of friendship and lover will never be crossed. Not all men lack as much self control as we have all been conditioned to believe. That is not to say that Elliot did not find Olivia attractive, or that, if they weren’t working together and he were divorced, that he wouldn’t try to be with her. Those situations never arrived and weren’t the reality of their relationship.
They did not get to know each other for the sake of a possible romance. There was no obvious initial attraction on either parties’ part, so their intentions were never to be more than partners on the job. They respected each other’s personal lives enough to not intervene in it and cross those boundaries. That is the key to maintaining a drama-free friendship with the opposite sex; make those boundaries known to ensure that the both of you are on the same page. The moment the other person is starting to uncontrollably advance in feelings let the other person know; if those feelings aren’t mutual than it is best to terminate the friendship. In the workplace, these sentiments are even more severe. You could get fired for carrying on a working relationship similar to the beginnings of Pam and Jim on The Office. While that was another one of my favorite shows post-Michael’s Scott’s departure, I feel that this show is a co-conspirator in the belief that both men and women cannot work together without the possibility of some kind of romance.
Obviously, if inter-office romances are allowed than by all means indulge, but to believe that it is impossible for a man and woman to be anything more than friends is ludicrous. I’m happy that we haven’t and possibly will never see a relationship between Olivia and Stabler; it’s the only proof of a platonic relationship that our society has.