When I first learned of the reality star, Porsha Stewart’s, divorce, I wasn’t surprised by it whatsoever. I didn’t delight in the news that her husband, former NFL star Kordell Stewart, was filing for a divorce from her but the dynamics of their marriage were loud and clear on the Bravo series Real Housewives of Atlanta.
However, it wasn’t his controlling, stifling, Victorian-esc grip he had over his marriage to Porsha that I was marveled by. It was Porsha’s loyalty to her husband, even during the week before he filed for a divorce from her, for the reunion show. She stood by his perceived controlling and demeaning tone that he had with her and even defended her decision to opt out of the impromptu strip club visit because she felt he wouldn’t approve. While I personally wouldn’t want a relationship or marriage that mirrored theirs, that is not the point of the key learning opportunity her situation offers. When you vow to marry a person, an incomparable amount of loyalty comes with that responsibility and accountability to another human being.
If there was an issue in their marriage throughout that reunion show taping, we wouldn’t have known that had the reports of the divorce not surfaced weeks before. She was loyal to him even in their moment of strife and never gave up on their marriage even when she had the opportunity to. Every time she is on the air speaking about her marriage she never has anything bad to say about her husband ever. She honored her vows and hasn’t taken this divorce as the opportunity to launch a smear campaign. Her husband has gone on the record disparaging and disrespecting Porsha, while she has publicly stated that she does not wish to divorce him and wants to work their marriage out. What is worth noting is the fact that Kordell wasn’t there at the reunion standing behind her while she was standing behind him. Like there marriage, Porsha was the only one willing to take a stand even if it meant she was on her own making it.
They were going through counseling while the show was airing to discuss her miscarriage and going forward with children. Kordell felt that Porsha shouldn’t have both a career and a child and should make a decision on which she’d rather have. The therapist, as well as the rest of America, found his ultimatum disturbing and indicative of a troubled marriage. Porsha saw it as an opportunity for her and her husband to work together and reach a better understanding of what they both want.
It is not often that we see marriages or divorces where the woman is taking the high road and not the man, but that is telling of Porsha’s character. Ultimately it is Kordell’s loss because she will find someone who values and respects who she is as a women enough to not stifle her. The biggest lesson we can all take away is to stay loyal until the end. It’s hard to do when the person is launching a smear campaign against you but it is worth it in the end.