Parents stress out their college children without even realizing it. The pressure of achieving the American Dream (meaning the dream of material success and happiness) is something that is felt by many Pace students, including myself.
“My parents planned out my life for me. I’m afraid I’ll disap- point,” sophomore criminal justice major Mackenzie Ferguson said.
The fear of disappointing par- ents with high expectations is a
fear felt by many at Pace, espe- cially in light of today’s economy. I have recently heard that this generation–ours–will be the first expected to NOT do better than their parents financially. Until re- cently, it has been the natural trend that children would grow up to do better than their parents. Now, amid this recession and the utterly depressing job market, parents still have the expectation for their chil- dren to achieve more.
While this is true of many par- ents, it is especially so for parents who are immigrants; they came to this country with the hopes of hav- ing their children taking advantage
of more opportunities.
Personally, I am second gen-
eration. My grandparents were not able to give all their children the opportunities to receive an educa- tion, and my parents are delighted to be able to give me that opportu- nity. This opportunity comes with the pressure of utilizing my abili- ties to the max, to succeed in life to an extent that some may think is unreasonable.
“I’m glad Sara, you’ll make a million dollars like that. You’ll work somewhere, private sector. I don’t gotta worry bout ya,” said my father in his Bronx/Yonkers accent.
“Sara, go try to be President, ok?” said my grandmother in her Irish accent.
I responded to them with a mere smirk and shake of the head, but they both just looked at me more deeply. They weren’t exag- gerating about the million dollars.
The stress of attempting to have both a bright future and a career of your choosing, simul- taneously making “a million dol- lars,” is an ever-present one. What if I don’t succeed? Who will I let down, beside myself? Do my par- ents understand that the job mar- ket isn’t so great at the moment? Even with a fantastic job market, it would still take quite a while to work up to a million-dollar salary. But, I’m getting an education, so, as my mother put it, “There’s no excuse to be jobless. You just have to be better than everyone.” The pressure’s on.
“My siblings failed. My par- ents say, ‘You’re getting a job. You’re gonna be the one to use your education,’” said sophomore criminal justice major Meaghan Biggs.
“My father said I have to make Dean’s List this year. He thinks I have to be better than perfect. I geta98onatest,andmydadasks about the other two points,” said sophomore accounting major Be- san Bashjawish of her father, who is an immigrant.
Clearly, students are experi- encing immense pressure from parents. But, despite this pres- sure, they make sure to stay true to themselves, choosing majors that
ignore someone you know instead of just keeping it together and say- ing hi.
So, keep it together, peer lead- ers and OL’s. But don’t be afraid to be friendly to the freshmen; it’ll save quite a bit of awkwardness. And good luck remaining party- ing hypocrites, RAs…although I can’t quite blame you for wanting to break the rules once in a while.
their parents may not wholeheart- edly approve.
“’Why don’t you want to be a doctor, why just a nurse?’ my family will ask me. And they end every phone call with ‘just keep studying,’” said sophomore nurs- ing major Asma Vohra, whose par- ents are also immigrants.
On the other hand, some stu- dents I interviewed said they feel no pressure from their parents, only support. “My parents expect that I’m going to do something great, they just don’t know what yet,” said freshman education ma- jor LeeAnn Reynolds.
This is a great contrast from the life-planning approach of some parents. Either way, the stress to succeed exists for most, if not all students.
“I’m my own biggest critic,” said freshman political science major Brandon Donnellan.
We either expect or are ex- pected to come out on top. While the job market is a terrifying place, utilizing things such as Career Ser- vices (in my opinion, the best part of Pace) can and DOES help Pace students to stand out, and to come closer to realizing that American dream bestowed on us by our par- ents, or by ourselves.
Whether the critic of your work is an unreasonable parent or yourself, just believe that the education you receive at Pace will help you in the future- and make sure you’re happy, because no million-dollar salary is worth it if the job is terrible, no matter what parents might say.