What’s up, freshmen?! It’s me, your ultimate guide to successfully immersing yourself in the Setter experience. Let me take you through the steps:
1. Do not forget to buy your books – I mean, ask an upperclassman for the link to your books (or check out the library) – this is very important. You don’t want to be the only one without your books, Ava.
2. Find your people. Maybe you’re a Kessel kind of guy, Ethan. Or maybe you would rather spend the rest of your life surrounded by Chappell Roan stans in a computer lab over at Willcox. Wherever you go, find your connections and don’t be afraid to reach out!
3. Take a language. You want to graduate on time, don’t you? If you take ASL, you can learn how to sign curse words that nobody will understand unless they also know ASL. That sounds cool, right, Alyssa?
4. Meet your suitemates. It’s better you get to know Sam and Logan now, Jose. What if one of them sleepwalks? Better be prepared.
5. Buy student rush tickets to “Mamma Mia!”, they’re like $50. You don’t want to miss out on your chance to hear “Under Attack” live, do you, Lily? Or is that just me? That might just be me.
6. Chat up T-Bone. He’s super cool. Unless you look at him for too long. Then he’s a little creepy looking. And he also might be that guy from Pace Perk. Don’t tell Gavin I told you that.
7. Bring your own food. Trust me. Unless it’s pasta day, you’re going to want to eat those Lean Cuisine pizzas at 4 o’clock in the morning, Brooke.
8. Call your mom at least twice a day. What? Did your mom pay me to put this one in? No, Ben, what would make you think that? Did she say something?
9. Figure out your schedule. This one feels obvious, but until you’ve shown up at Miller on Tuesday for your Composition class that’s actually on Wednesday, you don’t know the pain, Samantha.
10. Visit the restaurants in town. Check out the diner. The Taco Project. Starbucks. I think there’s also a Chinese restaurant? I don’t know, I live at home. Sorry, Josh.
11. Join The Pace Chronicle. Okay, this one is kind of self-promotion, but I promise you it’s worth it. We have pizza! Please, Maddie. We need you.
12. Last but not least, check for any weird creatures hanging around campus. If you see one, take a picture and send it to The Pace Chronicle. Thanks in advance, Andrew. We appreciate your patronage.