I mildly cringed when I read that conveniently, Basketball Wives cast member Evelyn Lozada would be the first mentee for life coach Iyanla Vanzant’s debut series Fix My Life. I’ve watched the work of Lozada and Vanzant, and given the recent domestic dispute between her now ex-husband Chad Ochocinco, I found it a little too ironic that she landed on a show such as this. I questioned whether her intentions were to fix her life or fix her public image. The two agendas are completely different, one promising to change who she is, the latter only changing what she is perceived as.

Most of the women on the show have a convoluted idea of self-respect and identity issues that, even in the title of the show itself, place them as nothing more than a shadow attached to the achievements of their husbands. I can see why Lozada would want someone to fix her life, but I was skeptical of her – the images of her throwing vases and airing out her best friend for not keeping it “100,” tainted my view of her…until I watched the special.

While the next few statements may reek of back tracking, it’s important to understand the concept of change. It may be difficult to erase images that could very well taint a person’s reputation forever, but it is just as hard to ignore a person who has genuinely evolved to the best version of themselves they can possibly attain. If Lozada does decide to return to the next season of Basketball Wives, wine bottles a blazing, then I’ll choose the politically correct route and applaud her publicist on quality media training.

However, none of that should be necessary. She was open, apologetic and transparent about her role in the many tragedies of her self-publicized life – qualities that a narcissistic coattail rider simply could not possess. None of this could have been achieved had Vanzant not badgered her hard and made her take responsibility for remaining the common denominator in all of the problems in her life. It was hard to watch Vanzant continually force Evelyn into the corners of her mistakes she never took responsibility for before. But forcing someone to look in the mirror is the only way they are able to see without the filter of their personal delusions.

Of course, I was not the only one who thought the entire melodramatic segment was an opportunistic media-whoring ploy by Lozada’s public relations team, but I was surprised that these sentiments spilled over even after part two aired. I then realized that society is the one that truly needs fixing, not just this reality star.

The frequent criticism I read on social media websites and blogs of the like was that OWN is desperate for ratings, and this interview with Lozada was nothing more than a desperate cry for viewers, regardless of the quality of said viewers. I disagree with this sentiment wholeheartedly; it’s divisive because it suggests that we should keep exploiting her negatives rather than trying to fix them. If the same logic were applied across the board, A&E’s Intervention would be cancelled and aired on VH1 as Crack House Wives.

What does society truly want from these reality stars? To keep them in the confines of their mistakes, or help them grow out of them? I would much rather see every last one of the Wives cast on OWN rather than continuing this cycle of celebrating fame for notoriety on VH1. It is toxic, and praises are due to Oprah and the producers of the show for being brave enough to turn these guilty pleasures into stories of renewed life.

It is hard accepting that people that acted as embarrassing as Lozada did in every episode of season three are capable of change, but collectively we must decide what kind of society we want to be: one of scrutiny or forgiveness.